Posted By John Allen
1. You’re not afraid to stone out to some murderer instrumentals.
2. You never realized that dating a friend’s ex was weird because you were introduced to the dating world through band, and “bandcest” was the norm. Everyone dated everybody else. Most friends had the same exes. Business as usual.
3. was the bane of your existence. Every time you mentioned going to band camp, you had to endure countless non-band kids reciting” One time … at band camp …”
4. …. But …. it’s also kind of true. Weird shit went down at band camp.
5. Your fight song is seared into your memory. You’ll be 105 and won’t know your own name, but if you hear the opening notes of that song, your reflexes will kick in and you’ll be reciting the chants word-for-word.
6. … Also, if you hear Sleigh Ride play over the speakers of any store during the holidays, you must cease all conversation and humming along to your part.
7. Your tolerance for shame is much higher than everyone else’s. You spent every Friday night wearing a shako in front of your entire school. Nothing phases you now.
8. Need to carry a very full bowl of soup? Not a number of problems. Years of marching band have built you an expert at moving your legs while keeping your upper body entirely still.
9. Spit has never bothered you. Non-band friends gag at the sight of someone spewing in public, but they’ve plainly ever seen a trombone player empty their spew valve in the middle of the classroom.
10. There’s a unique grief that comes from cracking a brand new reed.
11. You feel really weird if you’re not matching step with your friends. In fact, you often catch yourself unconsciously watching their feet and trying to get in step with them. YOU CAN’T HELP IT. IT’S SECOND NATURE.
12. Speaking of, if someone naturally begins walking with their right foot, they’re probably an alien. You step off with your left foot. Always.
13. People can make fun of you for being in band all they want, but you know you’ll have the last word. All those years of perfecting your embouchure, double-tonguing, complex fingerings, and diaphragm run was good for more than merely abilities.
14. The soundtrack to your nightmares is arpeggios. So many arpeggios. Endless arpeggios.
15. You get curiously annoyed whenever you’re watching a movie or TV display and relevant actors isn’t even to match the fingerings or rhythm of the music they’re “playing” onscreen.
16. You get chills whenever a cinema score has a perfectly timed timpani solo.
17. You get unreasonably excited when a popular song is in an unusual time signature. They don’t.
18. You unconsciously subdivide every beat you hear.
19. You were never worried about” being cool” because you were cool amongst the other band kids and that’s all that mattered.
Tagged Band Kids, Culture & Art, Humor, music, Sports
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